Missing Natural honesty
Long ago and when I was still pretty green I remember a nice but unsuccessful meeting with a girl. I was going by train in the late night to the city where I was studying. There were not many people in the train and at this time only local people. This train had cabins where up to 6 people have space to sit. I was alone and could make myself pretty comfortable. The train ride was 1 and a half hours and the arrival time was around midnight. It was the final destination for this train at a Sunday. I did not feel to sleep or have a short nap and so I concentrated on the passing stations and forest and anything else which was out there. It was fall season and wet and not warm at all. The people had warm cloth on and only the noses were turning red from the wind. Well, there was only 1 bigger station half way to pass and when the train came slowly to stop there was a girl in my age crossing my eyes. It was a very short moment but it felt like that we knew about each others way. Going back to study next day where ever we were staying. It was the feeling of being equal. She was brave enough to come to my cabin and we started introducing each other in a common kids style (“Hi!”) and chatted. We both were single. It was just nice to have the freedom to find some other person in such a “normal“ and natural way. There was just honesty. No fake talk and making things up and everything straight. We shared our minds for a little less than 40 minutes and she had to get off a few stations before me. It could have turned out to be a romantic story but as the dices had decided, we had not much in common and actually I found that we would not even as friends fit to each other. I was even for a moment thinking if I had been better left alone and enjoy the passing world. Later, I started appreciating this experience. Why? It was pure honesty. We did not fit but we were open enough to try. No competition to other same sex competitors and no pretending of unreal interests or so. I later imagined what would have happened if I would have met her in a different situation. For example in a club. Such a place gives a lot of excitement but not much space for a straight checking out of an honest fit. I found her not interesting and she did not yet started thinking of any bigger matters but her very daily life. She found me probably as a nerd or so and beside of a physical match, nothing much left for a relationship or romanze we both aimed for. It was so clear that we don’t fit that we did not even had to express it and so we did not exchange phone numbers or addresses. A short “Good Bye.”, as short as the “Hi!” and it was as suddenly ended as it started. This unexpected coming together with a stranger girl…
I will never forget the feeling of such true human social interaction. In the real world I (and probably we all) live in, these kind of moments are rare.